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Life Is A Balance: It isn't only about you, by Philip Nork
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The journey of self-discovery is a lifetime trip; and just like the fingerprints you possess, yours will be uniquely different than anyone else's. There are things that are common in each-such as good and bad times, emotional highs and lows, and choices that will need to be made. These choices that are presented to you can greatly define how you live your life. They may be influenced by the people you meet, symbols that are strategically placed along your journey, and especially by however you choose to worship your idea of God.
Being that no choice ever comes without consequence, there really is no right or wrong answer; either road taken will eventually get you to where you're supposed to be. Although some roads take longer than others in order to reach your final destination.
- Sales Rank: #191465 in Audible
- Published on: 2013-05-03
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 691 minutes
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Pay Attention To The Signs
By Bonnie Cehovet
"Life Is A Balance" is Nork's follow-up book to "Misguided Sensitivity". Both books are written in an autobiographical format, and deal with coming of age, and the issues that we face in the journey we call life. "Misguided Sensitivity" took us through the main character's graduation from high school, which is where "Life Is A Balance" picks up.
The journey of discovery that Phil, the main character in both books is on, is all about how to interact with other people. In his case, coming to understand his own sexuality is a major part of this journey. Phil also has a gift - that of making others feel good about themselves. In "Misguided Sensitivity:, we see how this gift is interwoven with his sexuality, and how he sees himself. In "Life Is A Balance", we see the journey become more about the people around him.
In the beginning of "Life Is A Balance", Phil makes the decision to take a trip to Florida to meet his father. He takes his younger brother along as support. What they find is a father who welcomes them with open arms. He asks one thing ... that they respect his alternate lifestyle. Phil decides to stay and live with his father, while his brother returns home. He is introduced to a lifestyle that includes his father's luxury home, spending time in his father's nightclub, and exploring drugs and alcohol.
He also goes through a series of relationships, each of which has a lesson for him. When the woman that he loves is killed in an accident with her alcoholic father, Phil decides to return to Missouri. With no destination in mind, he stops in a small town, gets a job, and starts setting down roots.
Throughout the book references are made to roses, and what different color roses mean. He also continues to have visits from his deceased great-grandmother, who brings him wisdom that he sometimes understands, and sometimes doesn't. He also gets a psychic reading from the mother of one of his friends ... one that has a long term effect on his life.
In the end, Phil marries and has a son. Little does he realize that the woman he marries is the granddaughter of one of his neighbors when he was growing up. They have a son, who Phil does his best to be there for.
An old flame from his past also comes back into his life ... this time as a friend.
Over his lifetime Phil deals with relationship issues, betrayal, abandonment, how to accept people of all persuasions, racial perceptions, the part alcohol can play in our life if we allow it to, and the issue of AIDS. He makes his choices, and takes responsibility for them. He is also open to God, through his great-grandmothers auspices. The manner in which spiritual contact is dealt with in this book is very well done.
I recommend this book as an enjoyable read, but also as a book that will help the reader to better understand themselves, and those around them. We all deal with the same issues in life, but we deal with them in our own unique way. Nork shows us that we have choices and that if we keep our hearts open. We will receive the guidance that we need. There is a scene at the end of the book that deals with crossing over, and Nork's perception of how that might go for him. Well worth reading!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Welcome to the world of Disco Phil
By Minhaj Arifin
It is Friday night, and the skating rink has suddenly gone dark. A signature song hints at his arrival. The darkness is pierced by gliding lights. Riding on transparent wheels that glow with light, in black angel flight pants and metallic shirt, someone different has arrived. The girls in the rink line up, reaching out to touch him as he passes them like a dream, a fantasy; an escape from all their problems. Welcome to the life of Disco Phil.
I started reading this book expecting a story that would entertain me. But there is much more to Disco Phil than glowing lights. Phil was once a shy boy dealing with the divorce of his parents. But all that changes when he reinvents himself as Disco Phil. Disco Phil has a rhythm, a certain style, and he seems unstoppable. His grandmother had given him the most valuable advice on the ladies. Always listen to their problems sincerely. And this ability becomes the magnet with which Disco Phil attracts and seduces women. While to his friends, Disco Phil is living the perfect life, there is an inner world of this very interesting man which pulls us deeper into the story. Phil wants to discover who he really is and wants to be loved by a woman, who sees beyond the glamour. This desire to rise above appearances and reach out to something higher and meaningful is what pulled me into his world.
As Phil leaves his hometown to visit his father in Florida we are introduced to a whole new kind of life style. I don't want to give away anything here, but it was intriguing how Philip gains access into the gay bar scene in Florida. The view he presents is detailed and so visual that those chapters could be their own book. These are also the years when America encountered the horrible AIDS virus. The details of these times and how people were reacting to it is fascinating. He is able to explain in his very clear and powerful way the allure and menace of getting involved with drugs. Throughout his journey, while listening to Rod Stewart, buying roses, and of course, skinny dipping, Phil struggles for his dream woman, always trying to leave behind `Disco Phil.' Yet we cheer for him, as he falls for a black woman and stands up to racism. His deep connections with women are highly entertaining and yet they are always accompanied by his deep insecurities. That is the success of this very important journey: The writer's ability to portray the glamorous lifestyle of a confident ladies man, while simultaneously informing us about his deepest fears.
The dialog is honest and feels very real. I feel I know these people! When his beautiful ex-girlfriend shows up dramatically at his workplace, claiming to be pregnant, we are suddenly jolted by the serious consequences of his lifestyle. At times, Phil gives everything he has, but the relationship still does not click. His greatest gift is also his greatest enemy. Phil loves women by empowering them, but this sensitivity also triggers in the women, a desire for self-discovery, and some of them discover that they don't really want him! Whether Disco Phil is mourning the loss of a lover, or swimming with a naked woman on a romantic night, a powerful and meaningful message is forming and lucky readers will get it.
I am a slow reader. I was in the world of Disco Phil for three evenings and I read the last line this sunny morning. I was working with my brother-in-law on his deck and as I was hammering away, on the nails, I felt the sunlight, and I suddenly realized, that it was not about the deck, or how good it will look, or when it will be finished, it is about the people standing on it, and how we see each other. Thanks Phil.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
A special journey in life
By Amazon Customer
Life Is A Balance: Phil Nork
Thinking about his past, his family and relationships Phil decides he needs to make a change in his perspective and life. Some friends are really listen while others give advice you should discount. After connecting with Lisa, someone he felt he could trust, Phil makes a decision that most might not. His father left when he was just eight and Lisa suggests that finding him and reconnecting might be a great way to start another journey and find why Life Is A Balance and just what that means as he and his brother Tim set off for Florida to meet their father. First impressions sometimes cast an entire relationship as Phil and his brother meet their father. Embraced and welcomed in his world they both decide on the paths for their future. Tim remains for a while and then returns home. Phil meets Larry and his father's friends and begins to become part of this new lifestyle. Meeting several girls, one in particular he decides to make the move to Florida.
Everything in life is not about being popular or having everyone fawn all over you. Yet, Phil seems to thrive on making others happy and tries in his own way to develop more meaningful relationships, but that seems to be short-lived. With a father whose lifestyle is much different than his, living in a beautiful home, going to the nightclubs he frequents and even experimenting with drugs, men and alcohol, Phil just might learn some hard lessons in life.
Different people learn lessons in different ways. Each relationship that Phil has is the same. Hoping to finally create his own life, his own destiny and ending each date or night out by giving the girl a special raised each color having its own special meaning.
Phil had many relationships during his stay in Florida. Each one taught him something about himself and others. But, one remained constant. Phil needed to feel accepted, wanted and needed by those he met, his family and by the women that embraced him for his rare talent to make them feel special and good. Discussions that were quite telling about how many girls felt about him but none that remained for long periods of time. The author was still trying to find a true focus. Each time he wavered or needed inspiration he began talking to his Nana whose spirit he hoped would guide him. Explaining to the women he was with his goals, what he was about seemed to endear him to them. Working at many different Burger Shacks not only provided him with a steady income but also helped him to meet many different kinds of people from different walks of life. Ten years passed since Phil arrived in Florida and with the help of some true friends he decided to turn around and go back to where he came from and start over again. Back to the skating rink where he met Joyce, the one person who was always open and honest with him and helped him try and center him. Then, life takes a tragic turn when the one person Phil really wants in his life dies in a tragic car accident. Fast driving, drinking, drugs and more take its toll on everyone no matter how old you are. Deciding to return to his old habits but was it the right move?
The reality of it is that no one can really be well liked and respected by everyone even though that is what our author really hoped to do and wanted. Sometimes no matter how hard we try someone is going to get hurt or disappointed. Failure is relative and because a relationship does not work out does not mean that you are a failure. It means that in this case you and the other person were not meant to be in long-term commitment.
Roses are one of the amazing flowers and each one with its special color does hold different meanings for different people. As the author presents each female that he gets close to with a different color rose you understand the heartfelt commitment he is trying to make to each of her in a special way and to himself.
He also continues to have visits from his deceased great-grandmother, who brings him wisdom that he sometimes understands, and sometimes doesn't. He also gets a psychic reading from the mother of one of his friends ... one that has a long term effect on his life. Then a tragedy occurs when Phil's grandfather passes but another journey began two years before as a special Rose came into his life. Sometimes it takes that right push or that right moment and things turn out great. A psychic's vision is expressed and two young people's love is tested to the hilt. As Phil is involved in an encounter he would like to forget and Rose betrays him in a way he has to decide how to deal with. As Phil pays his respects at her grandmother's wake he learns another hard lesson about Rose and life. Wanting to take part in the funeral and be a pallbearer her response to him was quite startling and not what he would have expected. Sometimes people that come into your life are only meant to be there for a short time. Hearing the words of his Nana in his head and the visions he had of her would help him to reflect, understand and move on. This was also the time when Aids was front and center in the news and medical science. As Phil learns the destiny of his father, his illness and the end result of living the life he did.
Life does not always strike an even balance at all times. But, sometimes someone right in front of you is the right person you need in your life: Just open your eyes. Reconnecting with Alex and realizing that she was more than just an assistant helped him to focus. This time the rush was not to marry but to make sure that this was right and it was. One special son named Trent would let him know that he made a strong and positive impact in his life. When his son goes off to MIT his wife loses another battle and once again Phil needs to find himself in more ways than one. The ending you will have to read for yourself and what happens when an old flame reenters his life, how they reconnect in a special yet different way and the creative and illuminating way he describes what he feels is his end of life. Just who has been paying him those spiritual visits? What lessons did his son Trent learn from him and how? What does he finally learn and how is his life finally balanced? Life takes us in many directions and we have choices to make every step of the way. Some choices that he made were definitely wrong and others right. Feelings of despair, isolation, unhappiness plague everyone at one time but just how these took their toll on Phil, how he worked them out is what makes this book a must read for everyone. Understanding, tolerance, faith, loyalty, trust and hope are all part of what he tried to impart to others and had to learn for himself. The ending you won't believe and make sure you have a box of tissues because you are going to need at least one if not two. Once again Phil Nork teaches everyone many important lessons in life that we all need to learn.
Fran Lewis: reviewer
How about some roses for the author?
Let's say three red and two white
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